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Tonight Show Host Must Give Back Lava® Lamp

Friday, January 22, 2010

As they say - if you cannot beat 'em....join 'em. The entire country cannot get away from the late night television saga and now the Lava® lamp is getting drug into the dialog!

I’m Conan O’Brien, future Donkey Kong champion.
Many of you have probably heard the news. NBC and I have finally reached a separation agreement. I knew it was official this morning when NBC dropped off all my CDs and picked up its lava lamp.
As you all know by now, tomorrow is our last show here. I’d like to apologize to the guests that were scheduled for next week: President Barack Obama, the Pope, the Queen of England, and our good friend, Elvis Presley.
You know, I’ve been with NBC for a really long time. Remember the Cosby show? I was Rudy!
I thought about something today – over the years I’ve made a lot of fun of Ryan Seacrest, Larry King, Spencer Pratt, Geraldo, David Hasselhoff, Kirstie Alley and Donald Trump. And here’s the messed up thing, they all still have shows.
All kidding aside it was announced today that last night NBC and I reached an agreement and tomorrow night will be the very last “Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.” Obviously this was not our first choice, but I’m determined to make the best of this situation. So here’s the plan. Tonight and tomorrow night we’re going to have a lot of fun on television. We have amazing guests stopping by. We have some really fun surprises planned. So tune in and let’s enjoy this... NBC and I hammered out an agreement for wrapping up my time here as host of the Tonight Show. The general terms of the contract are all over the Internet. But there are some provisions in the contract you may not know about:
-I am prohibited from coming within 500 yards of 11:30.
-I must return the Etch-A-Sketch my contract was written on.
-I’m not allowed to make fun of NBC programming. I have to let the programming speak for itself.
-The cop who escorts me off the lot after my last show must have the rank of lieutenant or higher.
-Max Weinberg must surrender his key to the women’s locker room at the NBC gym.
-Have to watch at least one NBC show every weeknight in order to double ratings.
-Effective today, NBC will stop paying for Andy Richter’s medical marijuana, and medical Jack Daniels.
-Must stop production on my documentary expose of NBC: "Inside the 'Cock."

This article compliments of www.monstersandcritics.com. To read more: go to

The Ultimate Christmas Gift - The Lava Lamp

Monday, December 21, 2009

I recently recieved my daily Google Alert for "lava lamps" and reluctantly clicked the links. Oftentimes these "hits" result in obscure comments about a lava lamp or a lava mention in a Mario Game or volcano story...usually there isn't anything too very interesting, but I have to LOOK just in case. It was a good thing I did because this Google Alert wasn't the boring or unrelated hit - this Alert was different. It sucked me in from the title and kept me reading right down to the very last word. The article was titled "All I want for Christmas: A Lava lamp" and was written by a pastor in Alaska.

As I finished the article, I felt the need (despite ALL of the other "to do's" on my list this time of year) to send Tari a Lava Lamp...after all Santa works in mysterious ways now doesn't he! I felt that her personality would welcome the lamp with open arms and it would become a part of the church's decor.

Here is her article that was published on the JuneauEmpire.com site.

All I want for Christmas: A Lava lamp
By Tari Stage-harvey Living and Growing

I really want a lava lamp for Christmas. I wanted one when they first came back out, but there was no way I was going to shell out $30 for a lava lamp. Now they are cheaper, and I can justify $15 for a bit of nostalgia.

Lava lamps are a re-living of the past for me. I spent a lot of time at my grandma's as a kid, and toys were pretty sparse. We had fields to run in, cards to play and a lava lamp to watch.

My brother and I would watch the lava lamp like kids watch Barney now. We would make up stories about a battle between earth and aliens. We would bet on the size of the next glob. And sometimes we would put forward theories about the magic behind the blobs.

Those childhood days with my grandma were not always perfect, but I remember them fondly as a great experience of being loved.

I want a lava lamp now not just because they are cool. I really want a lava lamp because it will bring back the smell of fried chicken, cheating my grandma at rummy and the warmth of sitting by her watching Hee Haw (the only thing that could draw my attention away from the lava lamp).

The presence of a lava lamp in my home will make me smile, remembering her love. It will give me opportunities to tell stories of my childhood to my children. It's like having a reminder of how good and lovely life can be.

The Christmas season brings a great desire to experience a time of feeling loved and comforted. For some people it is a remembering of times past where they felt safe and loved.

There are traditions around this season that are so important to people as a way of holding on to those precious memories. For many people, this season brings the hope of change from past patterns. The Christmas season has been and continues to be a nightmare for many children. Drinking, abuse and the sense of loss are greatly accentuated at this time.

I urge you this season to find the space and time to reclaim good memories of safe places and to be honest about the patterns and pain in your life that need to be changed. I don't fool myself into thinking a lava lamp will do this for me.

As a person of faith, the community gathered around Jesus does what a lava lamp never can. This community gives me a memory of thousands of years where people have experienced love and comfort from God.

We tell so many stories of how people have been fed, healed and forgiven through the presence of God and support of the community. This community also holds up a mirror for me so I do not give into sentimentality about how great things used to be. This community is grounded in speaking the truth to each other about destructive patterns, habits and brokenness that keep us from living fully in the present.

We don't have lava lamps in the church, but it is an idea. We have other concrete ways of helping people remember and relive the experience of being loved, forgiven and made whole. Water is big in the church. We keep some around and every now and then get everyone wet so we can remember what all God has promised and done through water.

Bread and wine are also big with us. We live out how God continues to feed, forgive and love all people not just symbolically but concretely.

There are lots of other things around the church that may not bring back the comfort of fried chicken, rummy and Hee Haw, but definitely bring the comfort and strength of being loved, being forgiven and being made whole.

Tari Stage-Harvey is pastor at Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran Church.

The New Face of Lava Lite

Friday, February 20, 2009

We welcome you to the new Lava Lite website! It's been a long time in the brewing; a long time in collecting all the required mystical ingredients for an ultimate online experience (actually, we just couldn’t decide what shade of purple to use for our background color).
Getting inspired for design
Studying the product
Prototype New Packaging
Now that those critical decisions have been made and massive amounts of lava transformed into lines of code stored in quasi-supercomputers, we are ready to talk about the exciting trip we took to get here.

LavaLite contacted us, DevBridge, requesting a proposal for an e-commerce website that would replace www.lavaworld.com, a creature of similar age to the primordial goo stored in their lamps. Our initial investigations of the site left our developers crying, curled up in little fetal balls of oily hair and pocket protectors; no wonder the new team at Lava Lite wanted a new site!
A different approach
Trying out some color variations
Getting closer to the final
Scared as we were, deep down we were all fascinated and mysteriously attracted to the "Original Shape of Cool", with its glowing, oozing, and curling goo inside the unique glass shell. It only helped when we learned that Lava Lamps were used as decor in the great GooglePlex! That sealed the deal for us, young developers who looks at giants like Google with puppy-like eyes of adoration.

Surrounded by the soft glow of multiple Lava Lamps and sugar high on energy drinks, our designers started mocking up the future LavaLite.com... only to be shot down time after time by the marketing guru's at Lava Lite! You see, this type of project was not a completely usual affair for us. They wanted it to be "cool", "hip", and "creative"... and we clearly understood that our utilitarian approach to web development was not going to fly this time.
The Lava Lite office
With continuous input from Lava Lite and some long Lava lit nights at the office, our designers and developers crafted a sleeker, meaner, and ultimately far better LavaLite.com. We tried to educate Lava Lite on web matters, and we got great tips about our target audience and insight into the product and business.

What's this?
Got Lava?
Blasts from the past

Finally, the day approached for the final review! We drove to Lava Lite's office, giddy with anticipation, the air full of excitement and electricity (I might have had too much coffee that morning). After a short review session and a multitude of jabs at our coke bottle thick glasses and official geek attire we were presented with what is the highest valued object in our office right now...

A Lava Lite Colossus!

A four foot tall, 110 pound tower of hypnotic blobatude, powered by a nuclear reactor of a bulb (well, it's 250 Watts. Monstrous!)
Back at geek hdqtrs
A place of honor
Look! Blobs!!!
All those sleep deprived nights of pixel pushing were finally paying off! The holy grail of all things cool was ours, in our hands (not literally, we’re big guys, but not that big)! We packed it neatly into our people mover and escaped Lava Lite's office; our sweaty palms caressing the Colossus, fearful that they might change their minds and take it back. We carried our treasure up three flights of stairs, unpacked it and placed it on its throne in the middle of our office. Exhausted, we sat there catching our breath, euphoric and mesmerized as the Colossus began to work its magic.

We thank Lava Lite for this experience and hope all who visit will enjoy the new site!